I am Woman- Ashley Smith

She’s a woman whose love radiates from her, evident in the warmth that lights up her beautiful countenance. Whether among friends or family, you’ll find her passionately cheering others on with a heartfelt determination to uplift and encourage. Her authenticity shines through in the genuine joy and deep friendships she nurtures through acts of kindness, and a keen attention for the little things that matter most to those she holds dear.

She enjoys both giving and receiving gifts, and has a fondness for the colors mauve and sage green. Finding solace in nature regardless of the weather, she also takes comfort in listening to music, prayer, and lighting candles. As an avid admirer of open fields with cows or horses, she finds joy in stopping by the roadside to observe them. Being with horses is her favorite, whether riding them or simply spending time around them.

Thriving on human connection, she delights in conversations with people of all ages, whether lifelong acquaintances or new friends. As a devoted mother of three and a loving wife, she speaks with unwavering admiration for her children and husband. Her life stands as a powerful illustration of the profound messages she wishes to share with the world. Through her riveting expressions, she eloquently conveys the deep wisdom she has gained from every experience life has offered her.

Ashley is I am Woman, and this is her story…

Ashley is known for her positivity and strength, always ready to lend a helping hand or a comforting word to those around her. Yet, behind her cheerful demeanor lies a story that once weighed heavily on her shoulders. She has always strived to be the best version of herself, but at one point, doubts and insecurities began to creep in, casting shadows on her typically bright outlook. Nevertheless, these challenges taught her valuable lessons, leading Ashley to confront one of her most daunting battles yet—an internal struggle for self-acceptance and inner peace.

Ashley recounts a moment in her life when she grappled with feelings of unworthiness and a misguided sense of not deserving love. In her own despair, she felt she had nothing more to offer to life and struggled to find her way forward. Ashley recalls, “I found myself overwhelmed by shame and guilt stemming from various reasons, although I later realized these were unfair judgments I placed on myself. During that time I felt terrible about myself. I was also burdened by mother guilt and constantly replaying what I could have done better in different aspects of my life. I worried about my relationship with God, and had been neglecting my own well-being and that of my family.”

Those close to Ashley noticed something was amiss. Her parents visited frequently, and friends often dropped by, sensing her deepening depression and discouragement. Ashley felt engulfed by sadness and a profound sense of purposelessness and self-blame, which intensified her feelings of guilt and shame. Struggling to cope, sleep became her only respite. She recalls,

“But each morning brought the pain flooding back, and I had to summon the strength to face those crippling emotions all over again…

‘One night, I was on the couch, engulfed in despair. Quietly, I said a prayer because it was all I could do. I prayed to feel that I was good again, to be forgiven for whatever wrongs I felt I had done. I didn’t want to feel shame and guilt anymore. It was then that I literally felt like I heard a voice, confirming that I could forgive myself and that the price had already been paid. I realized this was what I needed—to embrace the gift given by Christ’s sacrifice and His resurrection.

‘There will always be ups and downs, but Christ remains my foundation, and I can move forward with joy and happiness through Him. I finally let go of grief, shame, and guilt so that I could show up better for my family and be there for them in the ways that were important to me and to them. I have also developed better self-worth.”

“My favorite song is Back to life, sung by Zahriya Zachary. A part I love goes as follows:”

“No longer I who live, but Christ in me

For I’ve been born again, my heart is free

The hope of heaven before me, the grave behind

Hallelujah, You brought me back to life

I won’t forget the moment

I heard You call my name

Out of the grip of darkness

Into the light of grace

Just like Lazarus

Oh you brought me back to life…”

Ashley gently expresses that since her experience with depression, she has developed empathy and can recognize when others may be experiencing similar feelings. She learned that during times of struggle, some people appreciate help and support, while others prefer space and understanding. Ashley strives to be sensitive to the needs of others.

“We have so much in common, and we are all made for connection. It’s important that we share with others, and remember that it’s okay not to be perfect. I’ve often compared myself to others, but when I find myself doing this, I try to redirect my thoughts and focus on all that I’m good at and like about myself. I instead recognize that I’m still learning and growing,” Ashley reflects. Through consistent practice, she has been able to shift her perspective.

“I started identifying what bothered me when comparing myself to others and began considering what changes I could make to improve those situations. For instance, I wanted a more functional flow in my main living space at home to better engage with my family and their activities throughout the day. Realizing I couldn’t move to a new house, I rearranged the furniture to create the atmosphere I desired. This simple change had a significant impact on my life, teaching me that I have control over some things, and taking control of these aspects benefits both my mental and emotional well-being. This experience prompted me to find ways to appreciate what I have and to make things work for me.”

Ashley also learned the importance of allowing positivity into her life, including accepting compliments from close friends family. She explained, “I want to let the good things people say about me sink in. I’m learning to listen and believe them. It’s not about pride; it’s about recognizing my own goodness, sometimes through others’ eyes.”

Ashley realized, “I don’t need to confine myself in boxes or categories, whether in my religious beliefs or political views. I no longer define myself by labels that might limit who I am. Instead, I express myself through discussing issues and sharing my thoughts on various topics, which better reflects my deep love for spirituality, and values as a member of society. Embracing this perspective I feel more well-rounded and have improved my ability to connect with others through a broader, and more open-minded approach. Being more well rounded is another thing I like about myself.”

“Transformative change is what made me who I am today. I like myself more for what I understand, and for my independent thinking in every aspect of my life. I’m proud of who I am. I have a dream to connect with more women so I can help guide them to discover this for themselves too.

‘We need connection, it’s what we were made for and we have more in common than we think we do sometimes. So many of us have similar emotions and similar things we’ve gone through, even if they aren’t the exact same thing, we were made to be together. We have long distance friends, but we also need people around us to consider close friends as well.

‘Focus on doing things for you each day. Start with drinking a glass of water, make your bed, and shower. Slowly continue to do things for yourself that show self love and self care. Do things that you’re proud of. Enjoy your life.

‘Something that has really helped me is to realize I don’t have to have this identity where I never change. Change doesn’t have to be scary and it can be good. At times I will be able to move forward on things, while other times I’ll need to wait – realizing that with time there are bigger and better things out there for me. I have a path, I know I’m working towards something that’s for me.”